You know how shops are now putting your photographs on birthday cakes? You bring in a photo and they scan it and use, basically, an inkjet printer to print it out only, instead of ink, they use food coloring and, instead of paper, a thin sheet of sugar. At my nephew's last birthday party, the cake featured a picture of him dressed as Teddy Roosevelt, a few other presidents, and Spongebob. So, pretty much anything goes.

Well, almost anything. One mum thought it would be cute to put a picture of her son when he was five-months-old on the cake for his twenty-first birthday. Cute and, perhaps, a wee bit embarrassing, since the picture showed the youngster with a bare bum. Unfortunately, the folks at the store didn't find it so cute; they said the picture violated their no-nudity policy. "It was a photo of my son at five-months-old," said Gail Jordan. "I could not believe it"

Sadly, this does not surprise me. I'm not sure what has happened over the last half century or so, but a naked child is no longer seen as cute -- it's considered pornographic. I think our children's childhood is suffering because of it. Not to mention our children's twenty-first birthday parties.

Like any good mom, Gail Jordan wanted to do something special for her son's 21st birthday. Her idea was to put a picture of her son, David, on a birthday cake. The kicker? David, who was five months old in the picture, was not wearing a diaper, so you could see his bum in the picture. The mom with a good sense of humor thought they'd have a laugh--boy was she wrong.

The Asda grocery where Gail requisitioned the cake flat out refused to produce the dessert, saying the nudie pic constituted child pornography. The powers that be (were?) at the Asda finally acquiesced and let Gail use the picture, but only after they put a Perez Hilton-like censor over the bare bum. Gail didn't have time to get another cake made up so she settled for the star-covered bum bake.

Gail said she understood the rules but that common sense should also play a part in the decision. As she points out, the world is full of ads featuring baby bottoms--namely, those for diapers and wipes. I can't imagine what Asda would make of the Coppertone ads from my childhood, where a little dog is pulling down the bikini bottom of a young blonde girl, who, by the way, wasn't even wearing a top!

It seems to me that the best kind of gift is something that is totally cool but also totally unnecessary. Clothes are definitely a necessity; they're no fun to get. The same goes with ordinary tools-of-the-trade sort of thing, even if they're for a favorite hobby. A new set of screwdrivers, no matter how needed or nice, just isn't all that exciting, even to the serious woodworker.

On the other hand, somewhere, I have a night-vision monocular -- one half of a pair of binoculars that lets you see in the dark. It was a gift from my girlfriend at a time when such technologies were just beginning to become available. I probably used it twice at most, but it was a totally cool gift because, well, heck, we're talking night-vision! You can see why I married her, can't you?

To give you an idea of what makes a cool gift for Father's Day, here are three items I've come across that qualify as really cool gifts, with an explanation of why.

Running a successful campaign to be the Democratic nominee for the President of the United States of America. Choosing a running mate from a host of capable candidates. Navigating the waters of political controversy. All these are nothing compared to the challenge Senator Barack Obama faced last Saturday: Eight seven-year-olds will be taking over his home for a sleepover.

Why would any man subject himself to such trauma, especially when he has so much going on in his life? It's his daughter Sasha's birthday party. "These kids are planning to make pizza so who knows what our kitchen will look like," Obama said, speaking to voters in rural Virginia. At least the next (hopefully) leader of the free world was able to maintain a sense of humour about it all. "They shouldn't call these sleepovers," he said. "They should call them wake-overs."

It seems to me that negotiating with foreign leaders and fixing the economy will be child's play compared to what he went through last weekend. If indeed he survived, (has anyone heard from him since?) he'll have my vote.

Ever looking for just the right card that expresses just how you feel but coming up with nothing? Well, then, this site may be just what you were looking for, especially if what you want to say is snotty. The site, PrettyBitter, has a special way of communicating all the things you can't, and they do so for every occasion. Needless to say, even though the birthday card is downright funny (and a little morbid, as it should be), the ones for new and impending mothers take the proverbial cake.

The comments about how my baby couldn't possibly be cuter than any other baby in the world, no matter what I think, because all babies look the same particularly resonated with me. This is because as a mother, I am pretty sure my baby is the cutest baby in the world. I say pretty sure because, you know, I have another one on the way and that one could be even cuter. Hard to tell at this point. Also humorous was the caddy way the writer had of expressing the old fat vs. pregnant joke.

If you have friends who are good for a laugh and can take a joke, I highly recommend picking up one of these little delights. It will only set you back a few dollars, which will be money well spent when you all sit around laughing about it. I was laughing so hard at one point I actually had tears rolling down my face! And don't worry--there's plenty of stuff one the site for men, too. Heaven knows the creators of PrettyBitter couldn't let an opportunity to make fun of guys go by any faster than making fun of the rest of us!

Thanks to Kristi Anderson, who got a kick out of these and knew they'd be perfect for the snarks at ParentDish, for the link!