When Teleflora ran a mother's contest that categorized adoptive mothers as "Non-Moms" it incited a justifiable outrage. Of course, adoptive mothers are mothers!
Now it's Madonna, adoptive mother of David Banda, who is raising eyebrows with a statement she made regarding her adoption proceedings.
"It was painful, and it was a big struggle, and I didn't understand it," the singer/dancer/actress and mother of three told reporters in Canne.
"But in the end, I rationalized that when a woman has a child and goes through natural childbirth, she suffers an enormous amount. So I sort of went through my own kind of birthing pains with dealing with the press on my front doorstep accusing me of kidnapping or whatever you want to call it."
Hold it right there, Ms. Material Girl. While I whole-heartedly support the rights of all adoptive parents, comparing an adoption where you broke the (admittedly stupid) rules (International Mulawi adoptions require adoptive parents to reside in Mulawi for at least 18 months for observation. Madonna did not.) and where the biological father admitted he didn't understand what "adoption" meant to childbirth is insulting to not only everyone who HAS jumped through the international adoption hoops as to every woman who has ever actual experienced the pain of birthing a child.
While I'm sure it was it hurtful to see the less-than-glowing-reports about this particular adoption, but the fact remains that it did NOT require an epidural.
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1. As an adoptive mom, I personally was not at all offended by Madonna's comment. The whole adoption process is very much like conceiving, being pregnant, and giving birth. The biggest differences being that you don't know how long you'll be pregnant for, or if you'll actually get to hold your precious child in your arms in the end. They also don't even offer you an epidural for the incredible emotional pain and anxiety you experience along the way. My daughter was conceived and birthed through my heart, and in the end, through exhausted tears, and humble relief, I got to bring her home forever.
I applaud Madonna for enduring everything for a child she has conceived and birthed in her own heart. I am greatly saddened by the negative attention that the media has given this and other stories like it which may cause wonderful adoptive parents and birthparents to rethink taking this amazing journey as well.
Posted at 10:19AM on May 28th 2008 by Lynette